Dont Underestimate The quiet ones
By julia Gorday
Doesn’t it seem that the more outgoing you are, the better you have it? If you have a lot of friends, this makes you cooler. Perhaps you are promoted because everyone around you thinks that you would make a better leader due to the more social connections you have made, rather than that shy guy in the corner. The talkative people come off as more charming, more confident, and more interesting. This is because our society teaches us to believe that the more words that come out of your mouth and the more you like to go out and socialize with other people, then the better of a person you are. This is something that would never be explicitly stated, but if one was to look closely, then it will become much more apparent that American society has a bias towards those who are more sociable. Psychologists call these more outgoing individuals “extroverts,” while “introverts” are the quiet ones, the ones who like to stay reserved, and prefer to listen to everyone talk, rather than be the first to open their mouth. This bias occurs everywhere, from childhood to adulthood, in all situations, extroverts are preferred.
All throughout their lives introverts are made to feel bad about being so quiet, and are encouraged to “act more outgoing” or “come out of their shell”, while extroverts are praised for having a lot of friends and talking to everyone and anyone who will listen. I have experienced this difference in treatment first hand because I myself am what one would consider an “extreme introvert.” I have been told countless times before to do things that are outside my comfort zone such as making more conversations with strangers and going out to big, loud events such a football games. Although an extrovert would find these activities fun and thrilling, I can’t even imagine someone doing these things for enjoyment. Just because I prefer the quiet and would much rather be around a limited number of people and have a small group of friends, rather than make friends with everyone and be around large crowds, this is somehow the choice that should be changed and is pitied in the eyes of society. Society puts these extroverts on a pedestal and has socialized us to associate all good traits with those who are much more outgoing. But why is this? Is it because they talk more? Prefer more excitement? This does not make extroverts better than introverts. While extroverts definitely have their strengths and help contribute to society, so do introverts. Our society would not be as it is today without the introverts who sit back and listen instead of talking. Rather than telling introverts to get out of their “shell”, people should be acknowledging how the shell benefits them. It is time, not only for introverts to realize how special and needed they are for their differences, but also for society to realize this as well and stop underestimating them because they are the quiet ones.
What is an introvert and an extrovert?
Many things characterize introverts and extroverts, and there is more to it than being quiet or loud. Yes, introverts are quieter, but they aren’t being quiet just for the sake of being quiet. Introverts often feel drained and lacking in energy after being around people for longer periods of time, and the more people there are, then the more draining it will feel. Introverts will prefer solidary activities such a reading at home, watching movies on Netflix, or even just laying in bed daydreaming. These activities often feel necessary to introverts, in order to “recharge their batteries.” I must admit that I myself have cancelled on my friends many times because I didn’t feel I had the energy to go be social, because for me and the other introverts, being social really is an activity that takes a lot out of us. Introverts are also very observant, dedicated, very good at listening and providing thoughtful feedback, intuitive, and very independent. While introverts will often need to recharge by spending time alone, extroverts are quite the opposite. Going out with groups of people is the perfect way to energize them, while staying home leads them to get bored fairly quickly, and drains their energy which could cause them to feel lethargic and even anxious. One of my closest friends is an extrovert and he couldn’t stay home alone for the life of him, he needs to be constantly doing things with other people, or else he will begin to feel very sad, tired, and empty. Extroverts are also very enthusiastic, prefer to work in groups, often act before thinking, attention seekers, and tend to be quite assertive.
A biological explanation?
It is well known who the introverts and extroverts are in our lives, and what characterizes the two different types. What is much less discussed is why the difference exists, and what causes this difference? Psychologist, Hans Eysenck proposed the arousal theory in the late sixties. This theory stated that in regards to their brains introverts are much more sensitive to levels of stimuli, and have a higher reactivity to the same level of stimuli than do extroverts. Therefore it takes much less stimuli for introverts to reach their “optimal level of arousal”, than it does extroverts. The arousal theory also states that any level of stimuli that is not at the optimal level is uncomfortable for the individual, whether it is too high of a level for introverts who are at a social event or too low of a level for an extrovert who is at home and alone (Cooper). Brian Little described it in his Ted Talks lecture, by saying that this arousal theory is the reason that extroverts have more traffic tickets, since they need more stimulation they will drive much faster and more recklessly. (Little)
A lot of research has been done that supports Eysenck’s arousal theory to this day. In fact, an experiment was done by Russell G. Geen at the University of Missouri-Columbia to study introvert and extrovert performance on a learning task with different levels of noise intensity in the background. The results showed that when introverts had low levels of noise intensity in the background and extroverts had high levels of noise intensity in the background, then both the introverts and the extroverts were found to be equally aroused (Geen). This experiment supported the idea that introverts and extroverts do have a different reactivity to the same levels of stimuli. This theory a whole, explains why introverts do prefer to spend more time alone, and feel the need to recharge after being around a lot of people. They are recovering from being around so much stimuli that it has made their level of arousal uncomfortably high. Extroverts can go out and go to social events and this will raise their arousal level to the optimal arousal level, but can't stay home and be alone or else their arousal level will fall to uncomfortable levels. In both cases, for the extroverts and introverts, neither is at fault. This is a biological explanation for why introverts and extroverts are different. Nobody can choose their own biological makeup, or how reactive they are to stimuli. If this is based on biology, one would think that introverts and extroverts wouldn’t be treated so differently, and introverts wouldn’t be so underappreciated.
Bias in schools?
This bias doesn’t stop in the working environment. Vanessa Barford of BBC News also argues that: “… there is a similar pattern in schools, where speaking up in class, group work and "show and tells" is emphasized.”(Barford) School desks are now being put into groups of fours and fives, with each of these desks facing one another. The idea behind this formation is that students will benefit from working in groups to solve problems and work on projects. This is a great new technique to help productivity, if you are an extrovert. As an introvert who has been a part of these school groups from elementary school to high school, I can tell you that it is the most distracting thing a young introvert can be put through while trying to learn their times tables. As I sat in these group desk formations, I just wanted to be by myself so I could get my work done. With everyone talking around me, I wasn’t able to get a thing done because there was just too much going on around me for me to focus on the task at hand. If there had been a different option given by the teacher, perhaps she could have offered group work or studying time in the library, I would have chosen the studying in the library every single time because this would have allowed me to do my very best. I did my best when it was quiet and with little to no distractions, because this was just enough stimuli to not overwhelm me.
so Society favors extroverts?
Our society is biased towards extroverts. It is definitely one of the more subtle biases, but it is a bias nevertheless. Have you ever walked into a modern business office and taken notice of the floor plan of the rooms? If you have, you would notice that it has an open layout where there are many desks and cubicles in a big room, without any walls. This is done to promote group work and socialization in the office. This is a great thing for a business to do, if one were extroverted and excelled with higher stimuli and didn’t require a quieter workspace. Now what happens to the introverts who work at this company? Their productivity will fall because they are being surrounded by others talking about and sharing what they are doing. While the extroverts do best in this socially promoting environment, an introvert would do their best work if they had a quiet office with little stimuli to help them focus. Why is it that the extroverts’ needs are put before the introverts when it comes to getting their best work?
Bias in how introverts feel?
This extroversion bias doesn’t just exist in how society chooses to organize different spaces such as the classroom and work office. The bias is evident in how it makes introverts feel. Extroverts are constantly being praised for making a lot of friends, being outgoing, and being charming. While, introverts are almost pitied for what many perceive to be a lack of social skills, because they aren’t as outgoing and prefer to stay indoors. Introverts are therefore constantly being told “be more outgoing” or “don’t be so shy.” Even one of the most prominent speakers on introversion, Susan Cain, spoke about her experiences as a young introvert being told that she was too quiet, as she says: “But the first time that I took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me, "Why are you being so mellow?" -- mellow, of course, being the exact opposite of R-O-W-D-I-E. And then the second time I tried it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned expression on her face and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing.”(Cain)
After hearing that they should be more outgoing and louder for so long, at one point introverts may start to feel that something is wrong with them and feel bad about who they are. I have had a friend come to me crying in tears because she felt as though she wasn’t good enough because she was quiet, I know I have felt the same way and so many others have felt it too. One of these many introverts who have struggled with negative thoughts as a result of society’s bias is named Jake Millman. Jake Millman is a young man who posted to an online diary available to all introverts who wish to share their story. Jake explains that he never thought much of his quiet nature until as a result, his six gradehistory teacher rated his personality as being low in “leadership ability.” After getting this r ating he began to perceive his personality negatively and accepted the fact that he was never going to be a leader because he thought something was wrong with him. These thoughts stuck around for almost a year before his mother explained to him the differences between an introvert and an extrovert, and explained that being an introvert does not mean you can’t do anything you set your mind to, especially when it comes to being a leader because leadership and extroversion are not synonyms. (Millman) This bias towards extroverts, makes introverts feel like Jake Millman did on a daily basis, and this shouldn’t be the case because introverts are just as important as extroverts are. This message wont be heard if our society keeps pushing for everyone to be loud and outgoing, despite how this makes introverts feel. This bias in our society can really leave damaging effects on introverts. The difference in self-image between extroverts and introverts is becoming so relevant, research is now being done to study it. An experiment was done by Leslie J, Francis that compared extroversion and introversion scores to self-esteem scores. Francis was looking to see how one’s extroversion related to an their self-esteem level. It was found that those who scored high in extroversion also scored high in self-esteem. (Francis) These results provide evidence to the idea that our society does has an extraversion bias, which has socialized its members to have a more positive self-image when they are extraverted. This is a problem because being introverted isn’t a negative characteristic. Both personality types should have just as high of a self-outlook because each has their own different strengths.
Strengths of an introvert vs. Strengths of an extrovert?
Introverts should never feel inferior because they are quiet. Introverts and extroverts both have their own unique set of strengths that will benefit them in different ways. Yes, it is very well known that extroverts’ strengths include public speaking, group work, being seen as confident, approachable, and having many friends. Even though it is less talked about, introverts have their own strengths that should also be acknowledged and praised. Introverts really do have many strengths that can benefit their work and society. Introverts are very intuitive and are able to read body language and facial expression with more ease, they are able to listen and reflect on problems before giving a thoughtful solution, and they tend to be highly creative and introspective. One of the strengths of introverts that has been researched is that they are also more analytical and deeper thinkers. Deep and analytical thinking can lead introverts to be more critical thinkers and less likely to be fooled or suggestible. A study was done to test the suggestibility differences between introverts and extroverts. These researchers found that women who were extroverted tended to be more suggestible than the women who were introverted. They also found that suggestibility is inversely correlated with scholarship and scholastic aptitude tests. (Roach) Introverts benefit society in so many ways because of who they are. Throughout history there have been just as many, if not more influential introverts. These recognizable and impactful introverts include; Bill Gates, Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, Rosa Parks, and Albert Einstein. Introverts are the artists and the inventors of our society, those who help to push our society forward in advancement, while the extroverts are the ones who sell these inventions. Even Albert Einstein knew this to be true as he is quoted often for saying, "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” Introversion can lead to great discoveries and creations, and these creations have resulted in the development of beautiful cultures, arts, and great knowledge. Introverts are very important for these discoveries, just as extroverts are. In society you need both types of people for advancement, therefore both types of individuals should be acknowledged for what they contribute and should be treated as equally important.
Our society needs to recognize that extroverts and introverts have unique qualities, and that neither group is better than the other. They have different needs and offer different strengths that help to contribute to society. Therefore we should stop comparing them. It is okay for introverts to be quiet and want to work alone - they will do better if you let them. And it is okay for extroverts to want to work in groups - odds are this will also benefit them. If you are an introvert who has ever felt less important or less capable because you are quieter and aren’t as outgoing, it is not true. Introverts have made such great impacts on our society in the past, and they continue to do so to this day. The key is to recognize that you are different and take pride in it. If you are an introvert, work alone, spend time recharging your batteries, and spend time reflecting on the problems you have to solve no matter how long it takes, because these are your strengths. One day introverts’ strengths will be noticed, and hopefully one day society wont underestimate the quiet ones any longer.
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