Responding, Really Responding, to Other Students' Writing.

Overall this paragraph, although had a very interesting topic, was hard to follow and understand. The writer needs to be careful when it comes to the phrasing of sentences and possible redundancy throughout the entire essay. The writer also needs to make sure that others can follow their train of thought, because it can be common for many writers to lose themself in the writing and forget that the reader isnt in their head. This essay overall needs work, however there is still a good idea present, but the biggest problem is that the paragraph could have been shortened alot without the repitition of sentences and ideas.